Did you achieve your goals this year? If not, never mind

There's always next year. And the year after that.

Hello!

I’m just checking in. Writing this freehand so I don’t chicken out. It’s always been the way for me. I’ll write for months on end, stop for a bit, then when I want to pick it back up I feel like I just can’t. It takes a lot for me to sit and just WRITE but once I actually do, the words begin to flow. So here I am, sitting and writing.

There’s a lot to be said for New Year resolutions. They can give structure to your future, give you hope and something to focus on when you feel a bit lost.

They can also make you feel shitty and in a mad rush, or a futile race against yourself to complete them.

Here were my goals to complete for 2021:

1. Write for Grazia

2. Write for Vice / i-D

3. Write for Cosmo

4. Start trying for a baby

5. Buy a house

6. Drink more water

I got 4/6. The house and Cosmo are still pending. Two thirds. Not bad.

I may not have got the shiny commission from Cosmo but I did do many other creative things for work that I wasn’t expecting. I started working regularly for IndyBest and wrote for Insider which basically made me sh*t myself, I was so nervous to file.

Anyway. I noticed as the year wore on, I was getting more and more antsy about having not secured the Cosmo commission (despite pitching to them only about three times and two of those times were the same idea to different editors). Despite growing an actual baby and being lost in newborn la-la land for the latter part of the year, I still felt a bit crap about not having achieved that goal.

But I had to ask myself, why? The publication is still going to be there this year. And next. Why push it if I don’t have a valuable story to tell anyway?

Better to wait until it’s the right time.

Polly’s really made me slow down. I don’t get time to languish in anymore and when I do anything, I want it to mean something. I want my goals to be valuable but I don’t want to put too much value on them. I might not have much time right now, but there will always be MORE time.

One day I’ll be able to sit at my desk for more than 45 minutes during nap times. One day I won’t be needed for repetitive, screechy versions of Wheels on the Bus. One day I won’t be writing pitch ideas with one hand on my phone, and one on the small of my baby’s back as she’s feeding. One day. But, you know: when that one day comes, I’ll be working and talking and doing. I won’t be with my little girl, who needs me right NOW.

The point I’m trying to make is that in the time that we have, isn’t it better to focus on the ‘right now’? It’s fine to have goals, fine to have something to aim or strive for. But if you can’t complete it in the arbitrary timeline you’ve set for yourself, it’s okay. You can give yourself more time.

Perhaps this is more a letter to myself than a newsletter, but it’s going out anyway. I’m hoping to write more creatively as Will and I get more and more into the swing of things as parents.

But, to practice what I preach: I’ll only send one out if it’s the right time. I ain’t killing myself with a schedule.

Oh, time’s up. I’m needed.